Imaginary Life Annual Performance Review

Congratulations, you have leveled up and are now a Level 76 Software Engineer / Magic Adept. You have also been awarded the following enhanced capabilities:

  • basic telepathy (Level 1+); see PsychoEnergetic handbook Vol. 3A and 3C
  • simple clairvoyance (Level 1+); see PE handbook Vol. 7X
  • enhanced empathy (Level 6); see PE handbook Vol. 9 and 12
  • enhanced mobile app dev UX (Level 59); for starting a new KaiOS project
  • Akashic Records enhanced query (Level 3+); see AR HoloSearch handbooks

You have already received your tasks for the year ahead. Consult your spirit guides if you have any questions.

— The Universe

[Removed the French and Chinese translations. Note: Sanskrit, Latin, and Enochian were removed from the official languages list at the Provisional Human Language Simplification Council of 1997 CE, part of the broader “plain language” initiative to streamline the magick bureaucracy by reducing “bureaucretese”.]






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